Sunday, May 18, 2014

Mary - El - The Tarot Affair Commences

On Friday the 16th of May 2014, I received a phone call in the afternoon from my local metaphysical bookshop. They were calling to inform me of the arrival of two orders I had placed two weeks prior.  Excited, I was just about to utter the words, "I'll be there in a tick!" but Alas, it was a rainy Friday and my husband, whom ordinarily rides his motorbike to work, had today asked if I wouldn't mind if he took the car.  Long story short, I couldn't collect my treasurers that afternoon but I was determined to get to the the very next day, a Saturday.

Well wouldn't you know it! Saturday as a whole and my husband had already  made other plans for me. So Saturday came and went and finally Sunday rolled around and I was extra determined to get to the bookstore to pick up my treasures. After, housework, gardening, scrubbing the children strollers, helping out with the chickens etc, ect. I finally snapped! I put my foot down and stated very clearly that I was going to take an hour to myself, to do what ever I pleased and I was not to be interrupted!.

 Finally, there I was in my car, by myself, no kiddies in the back seat distracting me and the music up much louder then ordinarily appropriate, it was very blissful. I finally get into town and its freaking chaos!!! not a parking spot in sight. So began the lapping. I felt dizzy driving in circles, putting my indicator on every time I thought I saw a parking spot only to realize last minuet that it was  in actual fact, an annoyingly small/short car lol.

I was by this stage, extremely impatient and as I sat at the lights, I closed my eyes in preparation to ground and center. Once I felt I had achieved both, I set the intention for the parking spot and wouldn't you know it. I opened my eyes just as the lights turned green, crossed the busy intersection and drove straight into a perfectly positioned parking spot less then 200 meters from the door of the bookshop. I was delighted! actually I feel that victorious is a word that would more appropriately mirrors the sentiment i felt in that moment.

By the time I reached the bookshop and crossed its threshold, the pull I felt was beyond the realms of verbal description. It was deep, and enduring, exciting and impatient. Jo, the shop assistant greeted me with a super friendly smile as per usual as I informed her very excitedly that I was there to pick up my package. She looked intrigued, "Oooooo, what have you ordered this time" she cooed whiled retrieving my package from beneath the counter.

I paid for it in record speed, lamenting all the while that my treasured little book store didn't yet have Pay Wave so that the whole process could have been much faster lol. With the package still on the sop counter I began opening it, scratching, peeling and I'm a little ashamed to say, tearing apart with my teeth, the plastic casing. FINALLY, I managed to open the tarot box with a firm tug on the white ribbon tab sticking out.

I ran my hands over book and deck and the energy began to travel like a wild thing up my arm, it was electric. Mary-El Tarot, a deck I had been eying off for the longest time was now under my hands, ready to share its unknown wisdom with me. As I pulled the last bit of plastic wrapping away from the deck, I was in awe.

I began flicking through the deck, staring with the most amazing depiction of the fool I had thus far seen. Jo, was there with me and I shared each card with her and was in turn delighted to see that her reaction almost nearly mirrored my own. In truth I was a little concerned to share this one with others. It takes a particular type of person to really appreciate the intensity and obscure nature of this deck. It has a wonderfully rich yet peculiar energy to say the absolute least. And that little insight comes after only a day with this deck.

As I allowed the artwork to work its magick on my subconscious, I found that words began emerging, feelings soon followed. Mary-El was unlocking a door, one that I knew existed but never until this moment, felt ready to explore. The companion book is title landscapes of the abyss and a more fitting title could not exist, for that it just what I felt was occurring, an unlocking of that place within me that I have always seen as an abyss, but then again, so is the nature of darkness, one can never really see where it begins and where it ends.  

I can not wait to get to know this deck! I could never quite understand why it was that I held off on buying it until now. It wasn't really until I touched the cards that the reason was reveled to me. The Mary-El Tarot is not for the faint of heart, it will take you for a stroll into your collective unconscious and allow you to sit and breath for a moment, and a moment in the darkness is all you need in order to find the light of wisdom.

More on this deck to follow, after a little bonding that is.

Much love and many blessings ~ Avalon   

Mary - El Tarot Reveal


Friday, May 9, 2014

Dream Weaving and Triggering People

I have just celebrated my birthday in a small and intimate gathering of beautiful woman who made me laugh all night long, thanks ladies for making me laugh so hard that I cried :-)

So my birthday celebrations saw me indulging in a few glasses of red wine and by the time I poured myself into my perfectly comfortable bed,  I was very.... Happy... wink wink :-). The sleep that followed was deep and regenerative to say the least. It was also deeply enlightening and in a bit of a disappointing way. Here is the reason why.

Last night/early this morning, I had a very interesting dream regarding two (2) sharp screws hidden in things that I would eventually find and that would cause me pain when I did. One item being food another a pillow.  Now, I do not consider myself to be a dream weaver or worker but I have dabbled with said practices a bit in the past and thought that I would put some of that almost forgotten knowledge to good use.  What I discovered was a little disappointing, because what came back was that the two (2) screws in my dream belonged... ie, were attached by energy thread, to two (2) people currently in my life at this very moment and said screws were placed there as a result of me in essence triggering said individuals.

The confronting part was that I saw exactly who these individuals were and that surprised me quite a bit because I have not had any issues with either person and was under the impression that we were in a pretty happy developing friendship, despite the fact that I am not in constant contact with either.

I can't begin to tell you how much this hurt my heart at first, because the way that I was shown the situation was that these two (2) individuals were actually in danger of causing fractures in relationships that I would have at one stage considered to be pretty "close". I saw this whole whispering in ears thing and puppeteering that I have to say made me pretty sad. The odd thing was, that these two (2) principal individuals don't really know each other all that well and as such were working two different angles to cause me harm, hence the placement of the screws, one in my food and the other in my pillow.

Upset, I sat with that feeling for a few hours, I really really felt it as much as I could and in doing so received a few rather healing insights which are as follows.

It is not my responsibility to make myself smaller to make others feel better about who they are. If my authentic behaviour causes another discomfort, then that is entirely their issues to heal not mine, because again, I can not be responsible for what another feels as a result of me being myself. I should not have to tip toe around others, I should not have to allow another to dictate my behaviour in any way shape or form.

When someone is triggered by your behaviour, it is indicative of unresolved issues within that person, issues that mostly likely have nothing to do with you but that you may have reminded them about or awakened inside of them. A truly worthwhile and honest relationship will fan your flame so that it burns brighter ever thus making you a better individual, In other words, they cause positive growth. Not cause fractures from the inside out because that is not the mark of a complete individual, it is the mark of a weakened soul in need of healing.

Finally, as hurtful as this was to confront, I was swiftly reminded of the fact that I have an amazing life, I have a beautiful family and truly wonderful friends. I have a budding business and the remarkable ability to leave a positive mark on this world, indeed we all do. And that to me is what we should focus on, not manipulations and petty gossip. I was always taught that no one is rich enough to throw away a friend, so honor yours and in doing so honor yourself.   

I must also add, that I was thankful for the wisdom of Charis Melina Brown today, she really helped remind me sacred selfishness so thank you Charis for being amazing :-)

Much love and many blessings xo